There are times in our lives when God can seem quiet and far off. These periods of time are desparate and lonely. We may pray and feel like we are not getting any answers. Then we grow discouraged and often drift further away from God. We may find ourselves getting angry with him and frustrated. We may blame him for our feelings, emotions and struggles. We may even call out, “GOD WHERE ARE YOU?” We have all been there even though there are some around us who may put-on as though they haven’t. You know those Christians who act as though they always have it right and are perfectly in-tune with God. But I think the truth of the matter is life is filled with different experiences that cause us to interact and experience God in different ways.
The Psalmist offers some perfect examples of these moments of dispair and wondering where God is. Psalms has several psalms that Walter Brueggemann has labeled “psalms of disorientation.” These are psalms where the psalmist feels…well, disoriented. He feels lost, dispair, and even confusion. One person once told me, in an attempt to shine a positive light on these psalms, that they always end with the psalmist correcting himself or repenting of his doubts and complaints. Though this is true sometimes, it is not even usually the case. A prime example is Psalm 88.
1 O Lord, God of my salvation,
when, at night, I cry out in your presence,
2 let my prayer come before you;
incline your ear to my cry.3 For my soul is full of troubles,
and my life draws near to Sheol.
4 I am counted among those who go down to the Pit;
I am like those who have no help,
5 like those forsaken among the dead,
like the slain that lie in the grave,
like those whom you remember no more,
for they are cut off from your hand.
6 You have put me in the depths of the Pit,
in the regions dark and deep.
7 Your wrath lies heavy upon me,
and you overwhelm me with all your waves.
Selah8 You have caused my companions to shun me;
you have made me a thing of horror to them.
I am shut in so that I cannot escape;
9 my eye grows dim through sorrow.
Every day I call on you, O Lord;
I spread out my hands to you.
10 Do you work wonders for the dead?
Do the shades rise up to praise you?
Selah
11 Is your steadfast love declared in the grave,
or your faithfulness in Abaddon?
12 Are your wonders known in the darkness,
or your saving help in the land of forgetfulness?13 But I, O Lord, cry out to you;
in the morning my prayer comes before you.
14 O Lord, why do you cast me off?
Why do you hide your face from me?
15 Wretched and close to death from my youth up,
I suffer your terrors; I am desperate.*
16 Your wrath has swept over me;
your dread assaults destroy me.
17 They surround me like a flood all day long;
from all sides they close in on me.
18 You have caused friend and neighbour to shun me;
my companions are in darkness (NRSV).”
As you can see, this psalmist has no closure and the reader is left wondering what is the outcome of this distraught person. This person is obviously angry at God and even blames Him for his sufferings. Our theology and experience of God could indeed end at
this point and we would be left with a God who always ignores us and seems to enjoys our suffering. Such a theology reminds me of being a young boy. My confession goes like this: I used to be the “ant bully.” That’s right. I used to drown them with frigid cold water, or boiling hot water. I used to crush them with large stones and do aerial assaults on their villages. Kind of like the U.S. bombing the snot out of impoverished nations then puffing out our chest as though we abtained some daring feat of heroism.
Is God like this? Does he enjoy and get entertainment out of our suffering? Is he the equivalent of an “ant bully?” I don’t think so. Yet often times, we interpret our negative experiences as being God. Now let me qualify my thoughts. I do believe in judgment. I do believe we live in a world where bad things happen to good people as well. I believe that God can take those situations we are experiencing, rather good or bad, and use them for our benefit. However, I do not believe everything that happens to us is God trying to test us or teach us lessons. But I do believe that in all things, at all times we need to draw closer to God.
But why does God seem quiet at times? Why does he seem far off? Well, there are many answers. It could be sin. It coud be our experiences. It could be bad theology. It could be us not paying any attention to him except when we need something. But I think it could also be God trying to get us to come find him.
Is this possible? What is this some type of game?
I have two beautiful children and they love to play hide and seek. However, they don’t usually play the traditional way. It often begins with my daughter saying, “Daddy, we’ll hide and you count and come find us.”
So I begin to count and my daughter says, “Ok I’m gonna go hide in my room Daddy and you come find us.”
They run off to her room and I finish counting. I make my way to her room, pretending I don’t know where she is. So I peak in the other rooms and I will hear a little voice say, “No Daddy I am in MY ROOM!”
So I get to her room and she will either say, ”Daddy I am in the closet.” Or she will come running out yelling, “Here I am!!!”
I wonder if this is how God is. He may be quiet sometimes to get our attention. We may find ourselves saying, “Where’s God?” Hopefully, we begin looking for him in those moments.
I am reminded of Deuteronomy 4:29 “From there you will seek the Lord your God, and you will find him if you search after him with all your heart and soul.”
And Acts 17:26-28
From one ancestor* he made all nations to inhabit the whole earth, and he allotted the times of their existence and the boundaries of the places where they would live, 27so that they would search for God* and perhaps grope for him and find him—though indeed he is not far from each one of us. 28For “In him we live and move and have our being”;
This idea of searching and groping is much like hide and seek. Why doesn’t God just jump out and show himself. He is more like my daughter in that little voice calling out, “I am over here.” “This is where I am, come find me.” We are encouraged by the words of
Jesus to “seek and you will find.”
Although God may seem hidden, he is calling us to seek, search, grope after him. As we do we are told that we WILL find him. I am learning in this life that there are many people who are not finding God because they are not even looking for him. God has initiated relationship by grace but we are called to react and respond to the grace by seeking after him. It is not a game. It is not a game that God plays to torture us while all along not planning to reveal himself. He does want to reveal himself, and he will even more as we look for him.
It can even be said another way according to Matthew 5. “Those who hunger and thirst after righteousness will be filled.” Hungry and thirsty people go looking for food and drink. We are all aware of the fact that if we don’t go into the kitchen and LOOK for something to eat it isn’t just going to come to us. If we do, we are going to die of starvation and dehydration which many people are doing spiritually. Nor can we wait for someone else to do the looking for us. I know that my wife will often fix meals for the family so that we all don’t have to go fend for ourselves. If I just sat in the living room, watching TV and waiting to be served–I would go to bed very hungry many nights.
The Lord may seem hidden but he is always present but waiting often time for us to find him. After all, the Psalmist says elsewhere that there is nowhere he can go to escape the presence of the Lord.
Where can I go from your spirit?
Or where can I flee from your presence?
8 If I ascend to heaven, you are there;
if I make my bed in Sheol, you are there.
9 If I take the wings of the morning
and settle at the farthest limits of the sea,
10 even there your hand shall lead me,
and your right hand shall hold me fast.
11 If I say, ‘Surely the darkness shall cover me,
and the light around me become night’,
12 even the darkness is not dark to you;
the night is as bright as the day,
for darkness is as light to you (Psalm 139:7-12).
Therefore I suggest, if you find yourselves wondering where God is or even questioning if he exists…start looking for him and I promise…you WILL find Him. He will jump out like my daughter saying., “HERE I AM!”



















